


high voltage in her lips (they catch me when I slip)

by clarklexahs



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-20 04:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3636150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarklexahs/pseuds/clarklexahs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was always just the bookstore, <i>her</i> bookstore. Until it wasn't.</p>
<p>Clexa fake relationship AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Same old story since day one

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write a modern Clexa AU for a while now so I just decided to wing it. Hope this turns out decent enough.

It was had become somewhat of a tradition. 

She would stroll into her dorm after her last class had been set free from the clutches of priority, composed and self assured as ever, and pile her text books on the mahogany surface of her desk with finality. She would sometimes grab a light jacket, or even her favorite navy blue scarf, before spinning on her heel and hurrying out before her roommate could get a word in edgewise. 

She would abandon the masses of students in turmoils of stress and ambition and make her way down the gum studded sidewalks, inhaling the chemicals of the city. She much preferred the salty aroma of the sea and the sparkling cerulean waters that came with it. Or the scent of cherry blossoms that sprang to life and died too soon, because flowers always lived and died in youth. But she could do nothing about the chemicals. 

Oceans and flowers set aside she would continue down the avenues, sometimes tuning in to the rhythmic click of her boots on the pavement because screaming cars were a bore, and embrace the gradual increase of her heartbeat. When the familiar sign came into view she would smile only slightly, nothing but a quiet quirk of her lips, which was a big deal for her if she was being honest. She would pry open the heavy glass doors and step inside and just _smell_. She would inhale the smell of ink dancing on paper, the colors of creative minds liberated at last, the scream of desperate authors on hardback covers. The bookstore felt like the only place Lexa could actually breathe.

She never really had a plan when she came to the bookstore, which was very unlike her. She came every Thursday, at no set time because sometimes classes ran late or sometimes they were cancelled. The only constant to her Thursdays was the bookstore. 

Sometimes she would aimlessly stroll the aisles for what felt like hours, selecting whatever book caught her attention and taking a quick peek at the summary before tucking it back onto the stainless black shelf. She was probably unnecessarily picky when it came to selecting a book, but no matter what she would always buy only one and be sure to have it finished by the following Thursday.

Sometimes her self selected reading was hard to fit in around the hours of study time she had to do, not to mention the books she had to read for class. Her roommate would always give her an odd look when she put down a book for class and with an exasperated sigh would pick up her personal reading book. But she was so quickly lost in the contents of the novel she would forget anything else existed.

Yes, Lexa loved surely reading, even if it was a pain in the ass to have a book finished by every Thursday.

Even so, she always quickly forgave the drag of her self-designed responsibility because the trip to the bookstore was always worth it in the end.

Lexa thought herself to be the only ‘regular’ that came into the store. Any other visitors were random people sweeping the streets for some sort of culture other than coffee shops and corporate buildings. They usually left after viewing the latest teen heartthrob novel that no one would shut up about. Lexa would always scoff at their hasty leave and continue her search.

The employees of the store knew nothing other than her name and credit card number, but nevertheless, they would always greet her with a smile. They knew better than to try and suggest any books to her. 

Well, she _was_ the only regular, until Clarke fucking Griffin hefted open the glass doors and stumbled inside.

It had been on a particularly cold November afternoon, cold enough to steer Lexa into taking a detour to the nearest coffee shop. For once her flowing tendrils were not meticulously twisted into twin braids and meanwhile she donned a white beanie and a sable suede short jacket that did little to warm her. She clutched the coffee cup in her hands to try and fight off the cold and sighed as she cruised down the aisles, moving at what her roommate called an elderly pace. She disposed of the coffee after a few minutes, finding it hindered her ability to crack open a book and assess its value.

She was approaching the register with her latest find clutched under her arm when the doors were violently ripped open, setting free a blast of cold wind. Lexa shuddered and stepped away, shocked by the bitter coldness tearing through the entryway. A girl scrambled inside, panting and shivering with cold as she stepped away from the doors and into the warmth of the bookstore. She looked around in awe, and Lexa found herself unable to look away.

Wavy blonde hair curled around the frame of her face and pale skin accompanied electric blue eyes alight with youthful energy. Her long graceful arms were already hugging a book to her chest as she sighed with contentment and scanned the rows of novels. She was sporting a rather, well, _slim_ gray tank top with a cropped faux leather jacket hugging her torso and dark jeans displaying several tears that didn’t look as though they had always been there. She looked exciting and admittedly dangerous and everything Lexa aspired to avoid.

The only word Lexa really had for her was _ethereal_. Which almost made her mad, seeing as Lexa had never shown such attraction to a stranger so quickly. Hurriedly, she looked away and continued towards the register, slamming the novel down on the counter and clearing her throat. 

The woman smiled at her like she always did, but for some reason the fabricated politeness irritated Lexa today. She willed the woman to rush along, and once she had snatched her receipt she spun on her heel and had planned to make a hasty getaway, but found herself facing the blonde. Eyes wide, she grunted and quickly recollected her stoic composure, gripping her novel tensely.

“Oh, sorry! I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that,” she grinned apologetically, taking a respective step back.

Lexa found herself unable to breathe as she stared into her watery blue gaze, transfixed by their exuberant intensity. She traced the delicate curves and contours of her face with her eyes with a fierce quickness, incapable of looking anywhere else. When she sensed an awkward silence starting to stretch she cleared her throat again and nodded curtly, tiptoeing past her with an air of unease and towards the door, eager to get back to her dorm. She had an exam to study for tomorrow and-

She felt her blood run dry as she felt a gentle touch on her forearm. She glanced behind her, once more enveloped by those damn blue eyes.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to bother you but I just wanted to say that’s actually a great book, by the way. I’ve read it three times.”

Lexa glanced down at the novel in her grip, unsure of how to respond. No one ever approached her at the bookstore, and this stranger was stirring a lot of uncomfortable emotions in Lexa, even though she had hardly known her for even two minutes.

“I guess I’ll have to tell you what I think,” she replied quietly, stepping away from the touch of the blonde. 

The girl grinned again and Lexa felt her knees go weak. She really needed to get out of here.

“I guess you will.”

Lexa stood in frozen silence for a moment longer before nodding at the girl and making a beeline for the door. She shoved it open, embracing the cold and making her way down the crowded sidewalk. With luck, she would never have to see that girl again.


	2. But I've got no place to run

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem kind of… flustered.”

Lexa reeled around to face her roommate, noting the slightly smug look on her face. The expression sent a shiver of agitation down her spine as she turned away and tossed her book onto her pillow, following in pursuit and laying on her back to face the ceiling.

“Experimenting with some different vocabulary I see,” she observed, hoping to tiptoe around her question.

“Yeah, I try very hard to impress you,” came the sarcastic response laced with the girls’ unspoken chuckles. “Now speak up,” she demanded. Lexa noticed her folding her arms across her chest through her peripheral vision. 

“It was nothing, Octavia. I’m fine,” she replied stiffly, refusing to look the girl in the eye.

“Yeah, bullshit,” she snorted with disbelief and made her way over to her desk, sitting down dramatically and opening her laptop. “Okay well, whatever it was, I didn’t expect you to tell me _anyway._ ”

Lexa quickly noticed the note of bitterness in her voice, and she couldn’t say she blamed her really. Octavia had hoards of friends who would always invite her to parties on Friday nights and getaways during semester breaks. Lexa, well, didn’t really have any friends. Octavia was the closest thing she had to a friend probably, and even then Lexa only considered her an acquaintance. Octavia had learned quite a while ago that attempting to be anything more proved useless. 

“I swear it was nothing. I just went to the bookstore like I always do,” she murmured, turning over on her side to face the wall.

“Mmm..,” was Octavia’s reply as she began to madly type away on her keyboard. Lexa held back a sigh and finally sat up to retrieve her notes to study for her exam in the morning. She and Octavia worked in comfortable silence until Octavia slammed her laptop shut and got up, slipping on her boots and heading towards the door.

“I’ll be back later, I’m going to meet up with Lincoln. Don’t have too much fun without me,” she winked, the door frame rattling as she shut the door behind her.

Left to her lonesome, Lexa made an attempt to continue studying, but without the added distraction of Octavia’s presence she found it awfully difficult to avoid thinking about the blonde girl. With a sigh she picked up her new novel and flipped to the first page, but the words were all scrambled together and nothing seemed even remotely coherent. 

Bubbling with exasperation she threw the book down and ran her fingers through her thick tangles of hair. She should have braided it. Maybe screwing up her routine was what doomed her to meet the girl that had left her blood simmering with unease. _Oh please, don’t be so superstitious._ While Lexa was not a fan of the common citizen she sure as hell was not a fan of herself now. And she knew most ultimately that she was the only person she could trust.

Not today it seemed.

Deciding there was no other way to dismiss her frazzled nerves than to sleep it off she reluctantly crawled under the covers and willed to forget she had ever met such a beautiful stranger.

-

It didn’t work.

Lexa awoke with the memory of piercing blue eyes that reminded her of the sea on a foggy day and the whisper of golden twine delicately supporting the pale complexion of an other-worldly being, to verbalize what her dream had felt like.

“What the _fuck_ ,” she growled as she grabbed her pillow and threw it at the wall, rather unnecessarily. Her small commotion was enough to wake Octavia, who had always been a light sleeper. The girl groaned and rolled over to squint at Lexa, blinking back the pain of the morning light.

“What’s gotten you so worked up at..” She peered at the clock with a look of disdain. “Seven thirty in the morning?”

“She was a _stranger_. I’m never even going to see her again,” she mumbled laying back down with a sigh and burying herself in the darkness of her sheets.

Before she knew what was even happening a heavy weight came crashing down on her and she threw off the covers before she suffocated in the darkness of her own bed, glaring up into Octavia’s bright, mischievous eyes.

“ _She?_ She who?”

Lexa resisted the urge to shove Octavia away but instead she weaseled around her body perched on the edge of the bed and stood up. 

“No one,” she muttered through gritted teeth as she began grabbing clothes from their drawers and rushing about to begin prepping for class. She could feel Octavia’s gaze boring a hole in her skull but she ignored it as she began her selective process for clothing and whatnot. Finally, Octavia caved and hastily retrieved Lexa’s pillow to throw at her, which Lexa dodged with efficient swiftness.

“Why don’t you ever _talk_ about anything with me? You have to want to talk to someone at least sometimes, unless you’re like, a total robot or something.”

Lexa pinned her with a look that expressed enough warning to send a reluctant Octavia rolling back to her side of the room. She continued preparing for her classes in stone silence and knowing Octavia had probably decided to get more sleep in before her classes she slipped out quietly and headed to her first class to take her exam that, if she was being totally honest, she would probably not do very well on thanks to the fucking blonde girl. 

-

With classes wrapped up for the day and a sense of deflation that had stuck around since her exam Lexa decided she had ought to start her new novel, but she really needed to be anywhere else than on campus. The campus would probably be rather deserted that evening anyway, seeing as it was a Friday, but the sensation of tiny needles in her palms was beginning to aggravate her and she needed to just be _gone_ for a while. In fact, her whole life was just one momentous bubble of desire to be gone, to be elsewhere. Anywhere but here as they might say.

Hardback pressed firmly to the fabric of her outer layers she abandoned the campus and its demands of intellect and let her mind wander free on the streets of the city. She let her steps guide her to wherever they might go, which was usually a limited option. Be it the bookstore, the coffee shop, or the park.

As it was likely an obvious fact, cities were not well known for parks, but if you looked hard enough you might just find one in all of them (for some reason many city-living citizens feel the need to own dogs). They were small and uneventful and were usually just patches of grass sporting a few antique benches and lampposts, but were adored by Lexa all the same. They possessed their own sort of tranquility and culture, even if the obscenities of taxis and walkers were a long way from being forgotten.

As she turned down the small sidewalk that found her strolling through the small park she tore the book from its place against her chest and caressed the cover. Titles meant little to her, it was the story that said something. But she always did enjoy the graphics which were basically just the visual versions of the title.

Locating a small bench she sat down with a contented sigh and twisted the book in her grip, handling it as though it were a small child. It was about two hundred pages, the plot dancing along the lines of both romance and survival. Lexa wasn’t huge on romance but it seemed an inescapable fate of books in today’s world. Everyone had to be in love. 

As she turned to the first page, finally free from the torment of the blonde woman, she began to soak in the power of the words, the youth of a plot that had succeeded in capturing her attention. Whether it would fulfill its potential or not was part of the fun.

Unable to leash it any longer, she began her inevitable analysis of the characters presented to her through vague imagery, her mental construction of the world in which they lived and loved in, and her inferences as to which personas would prove to be the disease of the closely knit group of fictional characters. It was thrilling and mind numbing all at the same time, a sort of quiet drug she loved.

She was about four chapters in when she became aware of the yawning darkness, not quite present yet but invisible no longer. Unsure if she should go back to her dorm or not she thumbed through a few more pages, willing the dark to stay away. When a sudden shadow seemed to be thrown over her she frowned, noting how that was the exact _opposite_ of what she had wished for. Suddenly sensing a physical presence she allowed herself a glance, only to feel her breath die in her throat.

It was… _her._

What were the odds, really? 

Lexa ever so slowly closed her book and looked into the eyes of the girl, feeling her blood slowly thaw, but only so much so that it was a sluggish fluid slithering through her veins. She felt pretty immobile all the same. 

“Oh… hello again,” she murmured, feeling her heartbeat quicken as the girl smiled and waved a manicured hand.

“Hey, what are the odds?” she laughed, a sound that made Lexa’s stomach churn. “Do you mind if I sit?” she asked, pointing to the vacant spot on the bench. Lexa nodded stiffly, scooting over even though it wasn’t necessary. The girl plopped down with a grin, swinging her legs beneath her.

“Oh, you started the book I see,” she commented, pointing at the closed novel in Lexa’s hands. She hoped the girl couldn’t see her knuckles were going white. 

“Yes… I have,” she replied quietly, trying to to look anywhere but at the girl’s metallic blue eyes.

“I’m sorry, this seems super unprofessional and all, but I’m Clarke by the way,” she introduced, clearly unsure what type of person Lexa was as she hesitantly stuck out her hand. Lexa shook it anyway, the jolt she felt enough to send a dozen hairline fractures tearing through her hand. 

“Lexa,” she replied, pulling her hand away before it caught fire. Clarke smiled broadly at her, clearly satisfied with the maturity of her new acquaintanceship.

“How do you like the book so far?” she asked, directing her sights towards the novel again. Lexa had loosened her death grip on the spine and was now fumbling with it in her hands, if not to distract herself from the girl sitting next to her. 

“It’s not bad. I enjoy the survival element of it so far. I just wish there wouldn’t be any romance. It’s like this world can’t live without it,” she admitted, finally finding her voice and managing to not stumble over herself.

“Really? I’m not huge on love stories either, but I think it always adds something to the book. It makes trying to survive seem even more tragic,” she sighed wistfully. Lexa found herself trying desperately to ignore the way Clarke’s golden hair fell around her face and the way the amber glow of the nearby lamppost highlighted her delicate features. 

“Well, it’s easy to write about love Clarke, but it’s not so easy to write solely about survival.”

Clarke, to Lexa’s dismay, was staring at her with a strange expression. Lexa was almost convinced she looked fascinated with her theory. After a few moments of what felt like (and hopefully was) thoughtful silence, Clarke smiled and reached into her bag to retrieve something. Lexa hadn’t even been aware she was carrying anything. She heard the faint tear of paper and suddenly Clarke had a pen and was writing… Oh God, a phone number? She watched Clarke print the digits in a hurry and hand her the small slip of paper, which Lexa took with a shaky hand.

“Let me know what you think of the book when you finish it. I’m counting on your review!” she chirped, and with one more exuberant smile she got up and continued on her way to wherever she was headed, leaving thoroughly Lexa light headed and unable to comprehend what had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had major mixed feelings about this chapter, but trust a writer to belittle their own work right? Hope you guys enjoyed anyway!


	3. How much do I invest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the late update! I was out of town for spring break last week and had little motivation, but I'm happy with this chapter so hope it was worth the wait!
> 
> Warning: Alcohol and blood/car wreck scene

Lexa wasn’t really sure what she was doing.

Correction, she knew _exactly_ what she's doing. But she didn’t know why.

She hadn’t finished her book. For once she had not finished a novel by the following Thursday. And now it's Thursday and classes are done and she's found herself treading the familiar walkway towards the bookstore.

She can see the bright luminescent letters in the distance, the letters that read, _The Book Ark_. She had always considered it a peculiar name, but just like the store itself, it was special to her and had connotations beyond its true definition. It was hers.

She really shouldn't get another book. She was still trying to worm her way through the one she's reading now. And no, Lexa was not one to just give up on a novel. Even if the book is complete and utter trash, to leave a piece of literature unread feels much like a sin. Through her years of reading she had found that sometimes the ending to a terrible book is better than the ending to a really good book.

It wasn't that Lexa didn't have time to read, but every time she tried the slip of paper sitting on her desk bore holes in the back of her head, making her feel like her skin was on fire. And whenever an element of romance surfaced in her accredited survival novel she would think of the blonde girl, of Clarke, and suddenly she didn't feel much like reading.

_Maybe just this one time..._ No. She would not just stop reading it. She had tried that once, but not knowing how a novel ended always left a greedy little beast in her stomach that gnawed at her insides until she complied. With a sigh she jogged across the street and trudged up to the store, heaving the heavy doors open with more dramatic effort than usual. She stepped inside and for once she didn’t feel like inhaling.

She didn't _have_ to come, she knows that, but she was pretty sure the employees would panic and think her dead if she didn't. The thought brought a small smile to her face as she granted the employee behind the counter a curt nod before heading towards the aisles of books. She stroked the sable surfaces of the shelves as she walked past and sighed as the tranquility of the bookstore overpowered her earlier anxiety.

She remembered how, as a child, she would always drag her sister into bookstores whenever they walked down city streets. Anya would sometimes snap and tell her no, but other times she would grant her boisterous little sister permission to run inside for no more than five minutes. If Lexa ever bought a book, it was with her own money that she had saved up. Her peers thought she was crazy for wasting her allowance on books rather than the stupid plastic playthings they bought, but to each their own, as Anya would always tell her. Anya only ever bought her one book, but even when Lexa begged and pleaded Anya to buy her one she never relented. The book was ragged and old now and about ready to snap at the spine but Lexa treasured it more than anything. It was nothing more than a mystery novel for twelve year olds, but the content meant little.

Her gut twisted as she remembered the accident. She didn't have to cringe at the memory of any phone call, no, her memories were worse. Screeching tires, ripping metal, shards of glass. And the blood. So much blood.

She remembered how just before everything came crashing down around her she was trying to get Anya to sing the latest hit pop song with her. Anya would always give her a steely glare when Lexa started to get on her nerves but for some reason that day she only sighed and stayed quiet. She was finally starting to tear through her sister’s reluctance when suddenly Anya’s hand flew across Lexa’s chest, pinning her to the passenger seat as a car came ripping around the corner. Lexa was conscious for the entire thing. She watched the dashboard crumple before her like paper, felt the shards of glass dive into her skin like knives. The front of the car seemed to shrink and compress itself while it spit its destruction in her face. She remembered as she laid there crying from pain, wailing to Anya who wouldn't respond. Her hands were sticky with blood as she collected every ounce of strength she had to shake her sister awake, but it didn't work. Anya’s face had been a mirror of red, her body lifeless and broken. She had been maybe twelve years old at the time, and the loss still sat heavily in her chest. She missed Anya's stoicism, her cold exterior, and even her resting bitch face. She missed it all because she knew personally that Anya had been warm and caring and wise beyond her years. Anya had wanted her to go to college, so here she was, in college, about to cry in a bookstore because her sister wasn't here to see it.

"You better not be done with that book yet, because I still haven't gotten my review."

Stiffening, Lexa hurriedly wiped her running eyes and reeled around to face the source of the voice. She almost groaned because it’d been only a week and she'd already run into this girl _three times_ and she's pretty much the reason she can't finish her fucking book. She hoped Clarke couldn’t see just been about to cry. Clarke didn’t seem to notice because she offered her a smile and wandered towards her, running her hand along the bookshelf nonchalantly.

"I, uhm... Hello Clarke," she stammered, straightening her posture and facing the girl straight on.

"I'm serious about the review thing," she deadpanned, tearing holes in Lexa's stoic exterior with those damn blue eyes. Lexa really wished they were a different color.

"Oh..I believe you. I just haven't finished the book yet. I'm just worried that if I don't stick to my routine the store might send a search party for me so.." She shrugged and looked away, focusing on the label of a book she's pretty sure she's already read.

Clarke laughs, and Lexa damns herself to hell for being so attracted to this girl. Not that she would ever pursue her, but she figures she's allowed to be a little flustered when someone as beautiful as Clarke decides to talk with her, and more than once at that.

"Well, if you texted me, I could've told them you'd be absent," she grinned, tiptoeing past Lexa to peer at a book on a shelf a little ways down.

"My apologies, Clarke. I was planning to contact you once I finished the book, but I haven't gotten around to it. College demands my attention more." Well, it wasn't a complete lie.  
"You go to that one college a few blocks down?" She nodded. "That's amazing. My parents wanted me to go to college, but I said 'fuck that' and decided to just draw and paint instead. I'm still attending a community college just so I have something to showcase as far as post secondary schools go, because I'll still need a job someday. Artists have it tough," she chuckled as she gently picked up a book and thumbed through the first few pages, skimming the content. Lexa wasn’t sure how she could judge a books' worth so quickly.

"You're an artist? That's quite admirable, Clarke." And it's true. Lexa couldn't draw a fucking flower if you asked her too.

"Yep, I've been doing art since I was little. My mom just about went insane when I started drawing on my walls in third grade. Sad for her, it just got worse," she said with without looking up from the book, but Lexa could hear the amusement quite clearly in her voice.

"That's nice, Clarke. I'm studying law, so it's far less exciting."

Law wasn't Lexa's true ambition, it was Anya's. She had just been accepted into law school when she died and Lexa felt she owed it to her sister to follow in the footsteps she should've left behind. Law school wasn't all that bad though. Just not what she really wanted.

"Damn, _law school?_ That's fucking awesome," she grinned, shoving the book she had been viewing back onto its respectful shelf. Lexa cringed at the carelessness.

"Uhm... Yes, yes it's nice," she murmured, trailing after Clarke as she weaved through the rows of bookshelves. 

“So if someone ever filed a lawsuit against me or something, I could just come find you and you’d take care of it?” she inquired with a quirk of her eyebrows. 

“Well.. That’s not really how it works. But if someone ever did file a lawsuit against you, yes you would want a lawyer,” she explained simply, trying not to stare at the delicate tendrils of golden hair that pooled in the middle of her spine, or the way her eyes lit up whenever she so much as talked with another human being. 

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be a badass lawyer, Lexa,” she smiled, and it seemed genuine enough. Then she did something that surprised her. She idly snatched a book up from one of the shelves and without so much as looking down at it turned and marched towards the counter, slamming the book down and smiling at the bored-looking employee. 

“Just this one,” she said before the employee could ask a routine question such as “Is that all for you today?” or something similar. Then she turned to Lexa, clearly noticing her furrowed eyebrows and confused expression because her smile instantly crumbled.

“What’s wrong?”

“Did you even look at what the book was about?” Lexa asked carefully, hoping she didn’t sound too much like a freak.

To her surprise, Clarke laughed. She seemed to do a lot of laughing and smiling, something Lexa wasn’t overly used to. 

“No, I didn’t. That’s the whole point. As an artist I need inspiration. So I come here and just pick a book. It’s exciting, not knowing what the book is about. I don’t even look at the summary. I just read it. Books can make people feel some pretty strong emotions and a lot of times art is all about painting with emotion and passion, at least to me it is. So this is my twisted way of inspiring it.”

Lexa was speechless. This girl, who she barely knew, was not only radiant and exuberant as all get out, but she was intelligent and creative and just ethereal as all hell. Lexa could hardly stand it.

Realizing she hadn’t spoken for at least ten seconds, she swallowed hard and thought quick.

“That’s.. that’s really smart Clarke.” Lame.

To her relief, Clarke smiled. “Wow, I’ve been complimented by a future lawyer. Maybe I should have gone to college after all. Well,” she said, grabbing her receipt and her new book, looking down briefly at the bold print of the title. “I should get going, I’m eager to start this. See you, Lexa.” With one more friendly smile she turned and made her way towards the door, her hands wrapped around the new novel as she made her way back into the outside world and the throngs of strangers. 

Lexa waited a few minutes before making her own way back, leaving the bookstore without a new purchase for the first time in nearly a year.

-

“ _LEXA._ Sit the fuck down. Are you busy tomorrow night?”

“Hello to you too, Octavia.”

Octavia only gave her a knowing grin as she sat up on the edge of her bed and began to rock back and forth, pinning Lexa with an impatient look. “Yeah, yeah, pleasantries aside, are you busy tomorrow?”

“I think you already know the answer to that question,” she responded with a light snort, sitting down at her desk. Her eyes instantly wandered to the slip of paper with the phone number on it. Her heart skipped a fragile beat.

“Good, then you’re coming to a party with me.” Lexa sighed and finally turned to face Octavia. She had tried this before, and Lexa always politely declined. Except now it seemed more like a demand then a polite invitation. 

“And what makes you think I want to go?” she asked, picking up the slip of paper and thumbing it thoughtfully. Maybe she ought to text Clarke after all.

“Oh come _on_ , Lexa. Don’t you want to go to a party at least once during your college career? Don’t be so lame.”

“I have gone to parties before…” she mumbled, looking away from Octavia’s fixated gaze. If she was being completely honest, this whole Clarke situation was wearing her out mentally. She would much rather spend her Friday night in the quiet of her room and maybe finish up her reading. But it didn’t seem like Octavia was ready to give up on her new conquest. 

“Yeah, sure you have. Look, it’s just gonna be a fun little party at Lincoln’s fraternity house. I know you guys are decent friends and he’d like you to come, just this once. _Please?_ ” she begged, and when Lexa turned to look at her again, she wasn’t really surprised to see Octavia was giving her her best version of puppy dog eyes, as she called them. Lexa just considered them her crazy eyes, but she would never tell her that unless she wanted to get assaulted with pillows or something of the like. But if going to one party would appease Octavia’s determination to get her to be social then fine, she could do it just once. 

“Fine,” she said simply before turning away to grab a pile of papers that should really be her completed homework.

“YES. Thank you! I know you’ll have fun, just you watch.”

“Mmm.”

And to Lexa’s surprise, Octavia remained silent for the remainder of the evening, but not without a small smile on her face at all hours.  
-

For a “fun little party” Octavia was sure making a big deal about it. She hadn’t shut up about it since Friday morning and the minute their classes were over she went off on an extensive spiel about how she was going to love her friends and how they couldn’t wait to meet her and oh, she was going to have the time of her life, and all of that.

At around seven pm Octavia began to get ready, applying makeup and being overly indecisive about an outfit. Lexa just sat on her bed and watched, occasionally flipping a page in her book. Finally, at about seven-thirty, the question she had been waiting for was hurled in her direction.

“What, you’re gonna go to a party dressed like _that?_ ” She motioned to Lexa’s oversized sweater and sweatpants. She shrugged and tried not to feel utterly hopeless about the whole situation.

“Oh hell no you’re not. Get up.” Grumbling, Lexa stood up from her bed and watched as Octavia scurried around the room, plucking clothes from all different corners of the dorm. She finally approached Lexa with a black tank top, a leather jacket, leggings, and black combat boots. Lexa stared at the mass of black clothes and raised an eyebrow at Octavia. 

“Come on, black is cool! And it looks good on you. So suit up,” she demanded, throwing the clothes at Lexa. She grasped at them desperately, glaring at Octavia a little as she made her way towards the restroom. 

“Oh, and I wasn’t sure about this…” Lexa turned around to see Octavia holding a lacy black bra, smirking. She strengthened her glare and turned away, shutting the restroom door with a slam.

She had taken the liberty of straightening her hair as well while she got ready so Octavia wouldn’t scream at her. When she stepped out, Octavia gave a low whistle and grinned.

“You look hot. Now lets go,” she smiled, ripping the door open and gesturing for Lexa to exit, much like she was escorting her to a dance. Lexa smiled despite herself and once Octavia had locked the door the two started walking. Lexa wasn’t really all that excited about going to the party, but she figured her social life was already pretty moribund so it wasn’t like it could hurt her any.

As they drew nearer to the fraternity house Lexa could see purple lights flashing from the interior of the building. The soft pumping of music grew louder as they came closer. Lexa noticed Octavia’s pace quickening and her walk developing a more… well, voluptuous look to it. Lexa couldn’t help smiling to herself at the display.

Several people raised their cups to the two and gave them drunken hollers as they went inside. Lexa quickly felt overwhelmed by all the people and noise and movement. She trailed after Octavia as they slithered deeper into the belly of the house to where the alcohol was likely located. Octavia kept peering over her shoulder to make sure Lexa hadn’t taken off and smiled reassuringly each time, which only made Lexa want to run away more.

Finally they got to the tables of alcohol and Octavia handed her a cup of something that was probably just beer. Lexa took a sip to confirm her suspicions and decided she didn’t really feel like drinking, but kept the cup anyway so Octavia wouldn’t lecture her about being boring. Octavia was in the middle of whipping up some sort of alcoholic concoction when Lincoln appeared and wrapped his arms around her waist, burrowing his face in the crook of her neck and likely whispering his greetings. Octavia giggled and turned around, leading Lexa to turn away. She wasn’t much a fan of being a third wheel and was really hoping it didn’t end up that way. When she turned to look at them again their arms were no longer entangled and Lincoln was grinning at her. It’d been awhile since she’d last seen him.

“Lincoln, hello,” she greeted formally, taking another pitiful sip of her beverage.

“I’m glad you came Lexa. Sorry it’s a little intense in here, I know you’re not crazy about these kinds of things,” he smiled apologetically, wrapping an arm around Octavia’s neck as she began chugging down her alcohol. 

“You’re right, I’m not. But it’s fine.” They continued to make some more idle chat before Octavia insisted on dragging Lincoln away to dance. She gave Lexa a hopeful smile and punched her lightly in the shoulder.

“I’ll introduce you to my friends when I find them, they’re probably already drunk off their asses somewhere. Just don’t go too far!” she called as she moved away into the masses. Lexa stood there awkwardly for a few more moments before deciding she needed some fresh air and some space away from the sweaty, drunken bodies surrounding her.

She went outside and down the front steps, ignoring the slurred cat calls of the intoxicated man-children sitting on the porch, and inhaled deeply. The air smelled like rain, even though there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and she really wished she had brought a bigger jacket because it was freezing. Hugging her shoulders she paced back and forth across the lawn, lost in thought, steadily drowning out the noises of the party.

She managed to do this pretty successfully until a heavy body slammed into her. Okay, _seriously?_ Intent on snapping she turned around and balled her fists, ready to punch whatever drunk idiot decided it was okay to touch her. Fully expectant of a male, she instead found herself staring into eyes of cobalt, eyes that could belong to no one other than Clarke. She quickly unrolled her fists, staring apologetically at the blonde in front of her.

“Lexa, hey! I thought that might have been you!” she grinned, struggling to regain her footing.

“Clarke, hello. I certainly didn’t expect to see you here,” she said softly, her throat thick with embarrassment for having nearly punched the girl. She didn’t seem to notice though.

“ _Me neither!_ I was so _lonely_ out here! I can’t find any of my friends,” she frowned, sticking out her bottom lip.

Clarke was very clearly tipsy, if not drunk. She was swaying and looked hopelessly uncoordinated as she lunged forward and threw her arm around Lexa’s neck, hugging her close to whisper something in her ear. Her breath smelled like cheap alcohol, as if Lexa expected any less. Clarke seemed like she was definitely the fun vodka aunt.  
“Follow me,” she hissed under her breath. Before Lexa could object Clarke grabbed her hand and began running towards the street, dragging her along. Lexa was hesitant to follow, well aware of what it was like to deal with a drunk adolescent such as Clarke. She had dealt with Octavia plenty of times to know. 

Despite her reluctance, she let Clarke tug her along anyway, drunk herself on the girls’ playful smile and the carefree spark in her nature. She eventually had to run to keep up with Clarke, their fingers still laced together. Finally Clarke grounded to a halt in front of a vacant kiddy park, practically bouncing as she gazed at the colorful slides and monkey bars. Lexa just gave her a curious look.

“Clarke, what are we-”

“Come on!” she squealed, throwing Lexa off guard and pulling her towards the swingset. She practically tossed Lexa at the empty swing as she sat down in the one beside it, beginning to rock back and forth. Lexa slowly seated herself in the other, hoping to God that Clarke didn’t do some sort of somersault while swaying in the swing and land up on her face. It was very probable at this point.

Clarke managed to entertain her witless mind for a few more minutes before she ground to a halt and let the swing still. She instead fixed her gaze on the sky overhead, going quiet for a few moments. Lexa wasn’t sure what she was thinking, but she knew drunk people tended to have a spin on the wheel of emotions. She genuinely hoped that Clarke didn’t start telling her some personal tragedy that she would otherwise wish to remain confidential. The thought of being burdened with that kind of information made her uneasy. She was a bit startled when Clarke spoke.

“I think I’m drunk,” she huffed, still gazing at the star studded atmosphere.

“I could’ve told you that,” Lexa said quietly, a hint of amusement dancing in her voice. She was a tad thrown off when Clarke turned and pinned her with a look so intense Lexa had to suck in a breath.

“No, Lexa. Not on alcohol. I’m drunk on _stars_ ,” she sighed, as though it were obvious. Lexa felt a little nonplussed at her words so she just waited for Clarke to continue.

“Stars are so beautiful, aren’t they? They’re so far away, most of them are probably dead, and yet they're still so beautiful,” she murmured, closing her eyes. Lexa stared on, unable to believe that this girl still managed to surprise her.

“I hope I’m still pretty when I’m dead. That people will remember me the way they remember the stars,” she said, her voice softening as she opened her eyes to look at Lexa. For a minute Lexa thought maybe she really wasn’t drunk, but then Clarke gave her a lopsided grin and began rocking back and forth again that Lexa reclaimed that thought.

“I think everyone would like to be remembered that way,” she sighed, willing Clarke to continue talking, about the stars, about books, anything. Her voice was mellifluous to Lexa’s ears, even when she was drunk. And for a while she could forget that she was just plain old Lexa because to speak to Clarke was to be in her world. The girl lived on an entirely different planet, it seemed.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Clarke giggled. 

Taking Lexa by surprise, she shot upright and took off in a sprint, flailing her arms wildly and heading towards the nearby neighborhood. She looked over her shoulder and screamed a little louder than necessary.

“I must depart, Lexa, for I am on a quest! You will not find me! Not ever!” she cried before turning on a dime and wandering into one of the neighborhood alleys. Lexa stood up in a panic, knowing she ought to follow and make sure Clarke didn’t hurt herself.

Or should she? She was an adult, and who knew, maybe she knew her way around just fine. But something in Lexa’s gut told her that, while Clarke was clearly intellectual and high-functioning, she was like a child in this state. 

Damning her circumstance, she stood up and took off at a jog. When she had imagined going to a party tonight, she hadn’t imagined having to track down a blonde girl who spoke of stars and painted books.

No, not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yesterday I thought of a pretty angsty and tragic ending to this fic and I kind of want to go along with it, but we'll see. It's pretty sad but I might just be that cruel.
> 
> Come talk to me at clarklexahs.tumblr.com pls I like friends


End file.
